The signature Hannah look

How has your week been, Andy dear? Miss you. It’s finally Friday, and today I had to go to the office for a meeting with Vincent.

I usually only go in the office in the afternoon because I feel it’s more mentally manageable for me to be out there for a shorter time. After the breakdown yesterday, I was actually quite worried this morning that being in the office would make me even more triggered and stressful and that would make me perform even worse.

But as I was thinking about all these this morning and starting to feel overwhelmed again that I’m not doing well enough, there’s another voice in my heart that reminds me gently I have already been trying my best to manage everything around me internally and externally. And sometimes, trusting God means believing that we may not be good enough, but while we give our best, God is gracious enough to cover our inadequacy and weakness.

I decided to be honest in front of God to lay down all the things that I haven’t been feeling good about. My depressive and anxious thoughts, my loneliness, my frustration at work and perhaps just the world. When I did that, I feel God wants to remind me that he sees my effort to make all these things right, but he also wants me know I don’t need to carry the whole world on my shoulders, because I have him. And he cares about my heart way more than how well I perform in my struggles.

I am glad that after that conversation with myself and God, I became more mentally stable and strengthened to get through the rest of the day.

And today, I decided to wear this green checked skirt that I haven’t worn since we parted. I haven’t worn it for 2 years because I feel it is too young for my old soul (haha) and it reminds me of you a lot. I remember you used to call this the signature Hannah look, haha. But since I was thinking about you a lot today 🤍, I decided to give it another try :)

I know you are also someone who has expectations on yourself and probably get frustrated by yourself for not being good enough more often than I do. I hope you at least know that you don’t have burden the whole world on your shoulder too. You have people who love you and are willing to share that with you (yes that’s me :))

If nobody told you they loved you today, you remember I do. And I will always do.

❤️‍🩹

PS. Here is me switching to my pink pyjama shorts when I got home at night. Miss you loads, my favourite.