Thoughts

hello my dear, how are you?

For me, my PMS has made me quite tired and low energy in the last two days, and I had a meeting that lasted for almost 3 hours with Vincent and other management today, which was sooo draining.

On the other hand, I have been missing the UK a lot. I think I have had at least 3 dreams for the past week that I traveled or was in the UK. It feels kinda crazy to me that I would dream about it for so many nights. But it’s true that lately this feeling that I miss life in the UK a lot is growing stronger and stronger. I wonder if it’s because I haven’t spent much time there this year compared to the past few years (I only stayed in London for a few nights during my last trip in February). But at the same time, I do also feel that I am liking Hong Kong less and less, especially the longer I stay here.

That’s why one of the things that I’ve been considering actually is, if I want to make a trip to the UK, and if I do, would I want to stay for a bit longer this time, for maybe a month or even few months?

I feel like I didn’t consider that in the past two years even after we bought a house in Manchester because my experience of living alone in Kingston during my Masters study was quite traumatising. But the situation would be quite different now if I go there. I will stay with my parents in Manchester, which should be an “easier” experience in a different area. And even though I feel like I don’t like Manchester, I think it’s only fair if I give it a try.

But at the same time, I don’t know if all these feelings that I’m having are just temporary. It makes me wonder if this ever happened to you too. How does that make you feel and how do you cope with it? I feel this is such a lonely place to be in, because not a lot of people (at least most of my friends who’re born in HK and don’t have a second home) would understand this internal conflict. This is actually one of the things that I want to chat with you about, if we ever get to talk.

Miss you, dear Andy. Sometimes I feel how much I miss the UK is partly also a reflection of how much I miss you while being in HK. It’s the distance.

🥺 good night.

(me yesterday when I went to grocery shopping)