Wake me up when September ends

hello dear, how are you? miss you.

I am feeling a bit moody these two days, first reason is because I did a wart removal treatment yesterday on my face, it was painful and scary, and now my face has a lot of marks that I’ll need to wait for it to recover, so I look very ugly :(

And second reason is that Edison is at our Thailand factory again this week, so he isn’t around. In fact it isn’t just him, a few people that are close with me have been away: my chinese doctor has been on a vacation in the UK for two weeks, my therapist friend (Kristy) went on a long backpacking adventure to Latin America with her husband and they won’t be back until December, and as you know Jojo is also gone. So I guess I do feel a bit sad and lonely to feel like everyone who cares for me in different ways (Edison, my chinese doctor and Kristy) just all happen to be not around. But I am trying to hide my sadness because I feel it’d be silly for me to tell them that this is the reason why I am sad, especially for Edison and my chinese doctor.

Edison and I have been texting a lot in the last few days that I actually feel a bit uncomfortable. Even though we almost only talk about cars, I worry I’ll be too attached to him because he’s just too “helpful”. He shares a lot of knowledge about car with me and asked me lots of questions to guide me to figure out what my preferences/criteria are.

I actually really appreciate that because as you know me, I am not the best at communicating my thoughts, what I like and not like, what I want etc, especially when I don’t feel safe/confident even though I do have my own thoughts. But he has been really patient with me and asked me really detailed specifics to find out my preferences, and I really appreciate how he helped guide me through my own crowded thoughts. And because of that, it’s very hard to not naturally become reliant on him. But so far he’s only treating me this way for car related chat. He sounds a lot colder whenever we talk about other topics.

So I guess I will be moody for another few days. But I guess I can also make use of this time to live in my own head, and let the introverted me retreat and recharge.

Good night dear.

Yesterday’s photo in the morning: