Work and thoughts

hello dear, how are you? miss you.

Today I had to go in the office again because I had a meeting with senior management that Edison and I wanted to do together, and also dated Rubychu and Jojo for hotpot dinner at APM.

There were only a few of the team in the office today, so it ended up that Edison and I went out for lunch alone. I wasn’t expecting that and felt a bit nervous. We work really closely and well together on our projects, but still whenever it’s outside of work, I sometimes feel like I don’t know what to “do” or how to behave when with him.

I feel like the more I spend time or have interactions with him, the more I feel like I really am being treated by him like a younger sister. He uses his ways to take care of me. For example, he knows I am considering buying the car, so he has been giving me a lot of detailed advice. He would even go online to search a lot of market reference for me even when I didn’t ask for it.

He is still mean to me sometimes though, especially when I appear to be silly. For example, I remember quite awhile back I cut my finger when I was peeling ginger skin using a peeler. I told him about it and he replied that I could have used a spoon. And when I tried that the next time and it worked, I told him about it excitedly and he said “now try peeling your finger with the spoon.”

I think I have understood that his way of caring is by giving practical support or solutions instead of an emotional response. It may seem unconventional sometimes, but I am learning to appreciate it. And sometimes when I think back about it, it’s actually quite warm but in a different way.

The truth is, I guess I will never know how he truly feels about me or even what he’s thinking. But all I know is he has been very conscious about keeping a boundary at the same time that we are not physically intimate no matter how much we are able to spark each other intellectually (at work), and his way of taking care of me is more like taking care of a younger sister (he even called out that I am not drinking 2L of water at one point..).

Most of the time, I feel that I am at peace with our relationship. Sometimes I guess I am just greedy to want more from him just because I want to feel loved.

But all that to say, being around with him during work does remind me a lot about you, and how you are still my favourite company of all time, and my best work buddy.

Miss you 🤍