Yorkshire: Miss you

hello dear, how was your day?

Today I went on a day trip to Leeds and Yorkshire. The weather was really pleasant, not too cold or windy, with the sun out but not too warm. We drove pass a lot of grassland lanscapes, with sheeps and cows and horses. We even got to see some really nice sunset colors on the way back home. It was so serene.

In the middle of the road trip, I suddenly felt a lot again. It reminds me that back when I went to the UK for my masters three years ago, travelling around the country up north to see all these natural landscapes and beautiful countryside of the UK had always been one of the things I imagined myself doing. But what I didn’t expect was how my depression hit me so hard during that time that I could barely even get out of my bed every single day.

And today after 3 years, it is as if I can finally make up for this regret. It may sound like it’s not a big deal at all to normal people, but to me, it’s about overcoming the trauma of fighting my depression when I was in the UK, regaining my mental strength to a point that I have the courage to get out and explore the world again.

On one hand I feel really grateful for how far I have come on this healing journey, bu at the same time, I miss you so much. For the last 11 days here in the UK, every time when I go on a road trip to visit different places, I think about you a lot, because it has always been one of my dreams to visit around the UK with you one day or at least hear stories you have about the UK. I think about whether you’ve been to those places I went to, walked on those same streets that I was at, what you would have done or said if you were here.

I miss you immensely, dear Andy.

🫂