Miss you quite a lot, Andy.
Today was a slightly tough day for me at work. Without having to share too much context here because the matter really isn’t that important, I was being put on the spot during a meeting to have to drop a critical yet disappointing news to Disney.
You can maybe imagine it as back in those days when we were in the team and you often thought I was being put in a difficult position for my role. Imagine that but this time it is between our entire company and Disney.
As experienced as I am now to stakeholder-manage, I managed that tense situation in the end, but inside I was all stressed out. I guess what added to my frustration was my UK boss and Howe were actually there too, but they chose to throw the ball at me to answer that difficult question from Disney, which we all knew no one wanted to answer. And I had to take it on.
These days I feel I have learnt to be less mentally attached to work. But it is often moments like this that make me feel lonelier than ever at work, without a team or anyone who understands the stress of my position and without a real boss who really oversees or even acknowledges what I do.
I just had to cry over this one after it happened.
But as I was crying, there was this inner voice that tells me: “You don’t have to prove to anyone anything anymore.”
So tonight as I go to bed, I just wanted to tell myself: Hannah dear, you have tried your best to give what you can give at work and on a lot of other things in life. It may seem like no one acknowledges it, but you yourself know it well, and so does God who sees everything clearly. So know that you don’t have to try harder to prove yourself. You have already done very well.
Before I go to sleep, I just feel like asking you, would you help me tell yourself the same too, Andy? Love you.
(Here is the selfie I took while I was withholding the cry)
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