How are you, Andy? I miss you.
I am still undergoing a lot internally. Sometimes it's the depression, sometimes it's bitterness, sometimes it's anger. There’s just too much and too complex that I find it hard to write them all out here. But I feel that God has been coming through to meet me at where I am.
Today, the topic at church was "Why do bad things happen to good people". I remember you asked me that question before and I recalled I actually wrote a post here about it. I managed to dig it up, it's more than a year ago. It's interesting to re-read what my answer was at that time, especially when I compare it to what my response to that question is today.
I guess for a long time, whenever I thought of this question, my first thought to myself would be: Because there are no good people in this world. I still don't think that is a wrong saying. I think we can agree that we all make mistakes and do wrong at some point in life that cause hurt to the world, no matter how good we try to be. I personally experienced that, when I thought I had my heart fixed on the right thing, yet I still stumbled.
But that isn’t really answering the question, is it? Perhaps, before we even try to answer this question, what we should ask ourselves is: why are we asking this question?
For me, at least in recent days, it's because I am frustrated to keep doing "good" when I don't see anything "good" happening to me. Those questions I wrote last week in one of the posts - ultimately, my question actually was: why do I still suffer even when I am already giving my best?
The pastor shared during the message that his dad who was such a good man passed away suddenly two months ago. He said, he doesn't know why such a bad thing happened to his dad. But as their family gathered to mourn and commemorate him, he witnessed that broken relationships in the family were miraculously restored, all because of the love that his father demonstrated in his life, and passed on to the family as he left. That's when he realised and was able to say: the result of his dad's ending was actually beautiful.
The truth is, perhaps no explanation will truly be enough to validate the suffering we feel that has caused us to ask this question - why do bad things happen to good people. The frustration of feeling like we are still failing despite our best efforts to turn things around, to do whatever we can to fix our problems and others'. But just like the sharing from the pastor about his dad, we can believe that one day, we’ll be able to see that the result will be beautiful.
There is a verse in the Bible that says, "Because suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope." The pastor’s invitation was to allow God to work in us in our suffering, and don’t waste the journey.
No matter how life looks like for us at this moment, it is a journey that we are constantly on. And as Christians, the hope we hold on to is that, God is able to give beauty for ashes. And ultimately, the ending is going to be good.
Hope this brings you encouragement too.
Here is me giving my best to smile for a selfie today:
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